C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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