How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
