she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
