Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
