Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why do cheetos always look like penises
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
