Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
