First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
