the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
