Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
