just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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