Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
