Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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