I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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