Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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