I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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