I'm eating all of the evidence.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
