Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
