So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
