she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
