just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
