need another drink. this is the easiest way
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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