Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
birth control should be required to get into college
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
