No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
