:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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