I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
