Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
