she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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