also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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