Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
