we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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