It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
