I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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