She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dear god my vagina.
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