No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i believe in u and ur pee
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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