He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
