he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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