butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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