i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
