Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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