You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
