Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
