Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
