I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
organizing the empties. That sober.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
