Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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