Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
