he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
