I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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