if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
