wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
