He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
