Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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